Tim Dillon, Gutter Racist

Tim Dillon’s new Netflix special, recorded at the Comedy Mothership in Austin, premieres on Tuesday. Here he is on his podcast today:

Mahmoud Khalil, sorry, a judge ruled you can go. You can be deported. While I disagree with this decision, I don't personally know you. "Louisiana immigration judge ruled Friday that activist, Mahmoud Khalil, can be deported. In an undated two-page memo submitted to the court, Rubio detailed that on March 7th, he got information about Khalil." 

So I mean, I guess, whatever. They showed this judge some evidence, I don't know what that is, of this guy. They revoked his visa. He was whiling out. "After the ruling, Khalil told the judge, 'I would like to quote what you said the last time, that there's nothing more important to this court than due process rights and fundamental fairness. Clearly, what we witnessed today, neither of those principles were present today or in this whole process. This is exactly why the Trump administration has sent me to this court a thousand miles away from my family. I just hope that the urgency that you deemed fit for me afforded to the hundreds of others who have been here without hearings for months.' He will not immediately [be] deported. His attorneys have said that if he were ordered—" 

Here's the thing. I don't want this guy to be deported. I also don't want him to be a folk hero. I don't want either of those things happening. I want him to be here and ignored. That's what I want. I want him to be in this country and be ignored. Like most people in this country, they're completely ignored. That's what I want. I don't want him to get a soapbox. I don't want him to lecture me. I don't want hear anything about colonialism. I don't want to hear any of that. I just want him to be silent in my country and shut up. Which is his country now, I guess, if he's on a visa. I just want him to shut up, and it is not because I even think that he's wrong about everything. I don't know what his statements are. I disagree with a lot of them, and I'd agree with some of them, but the point is that I just don't want to be lectured by this guy. 

It's the same reason I don't want to be lectured to by Vivek Ramalamalamala. You just got here, chill. You just got here. Chill a little, chill a little bit. [Ed. note: Vivek Ramaswamy was born in Ohio.] You just got to the party. Chill. Just don't tell everyone immediate—now I know you have feelings. I get it. If I went to Qatar to stay the Four Seasons, I wouldn't immediately be like, "Hamas is a terrorist group." I'd be like, "I like the pool." You have to assimilate a little bit. Just chill. I would not even bring it up if I was in the Qatar Four Seasons, I wouldn't even bring it up.

[...]

What I've learned is how to be a good guest. And here's how you be a good guest. You don't make your presence known in a controversial way. You focus on what's nice. You focus on what's good. I don't agree with Hamas. I don't agree with the Qatari royal family. I'm sure there's overlap—we both like luxury, we both seem to enjoy real estate. There’s overlap per se, but they're not good to gay people or women, you know, and they have archaic points of view. But I don't make that the focal point if I go. I appreciate the scale of the development.

You have to chill. Like Vivek’s over here yelling and screaming, “Americans are lazy.” Hey buddy, you got here a few generations ago. Just chill. Just chill. You're not being a good guest. No one wants that. I'll be a good guest. I'll be in Doha, “Wow. The World Cup stadium's amazing.” I wouldn’t—people at Dubai—you think I would go to Dubai and be like, “Everything's made by slaves!” I wouldn't say that. I would look at them and go, “Get to work!” I'm a good guest. I would go, that's an amazing building. Not, “well, there's no climate regulation.” No, no, no, no, no. “It's good.” Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. "This thing's tall. That's tall as fuck."

I assimilate. I'm a good guest. I don't go to India and go, “Well, this caste system seems unfair. These untouchables—” I don't do that. I don't do that. It's not my business. I'm a good guest. I assimilate.

Free speech, am I right?